i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
