is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
