I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
