i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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