So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
