Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
