Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
