Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
