hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
