Life is so much better after having sex.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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