hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Randomize
