No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
