Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
