screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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