idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize