HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
