And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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