ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
