O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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