The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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