my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Randomize