I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
