He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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