I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
No stitches, just platelets and will power
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
