you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
