I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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