He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
