Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
