my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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