oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
