I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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