how do flat chested girls get laid?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
