Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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