he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
