just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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