so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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