He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
