So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
