I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
