Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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