I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
