The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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