i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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