I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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