Operation Purity has been aborted
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
