I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
