Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
