Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
