sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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