We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
