"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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