I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
