they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He? As in you personified your dick?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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