another moral hangover. fuck.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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