now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
