when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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