Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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