do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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