Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Randomize
