she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
