Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
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