About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
