Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
