i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
