i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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