I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
