Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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