yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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