At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Randomize
