Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
