well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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