Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
