the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
