dude i'm inner monologue high
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
