I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
